Sanity. Such a frail concept.
A byproduct of reason
A mere toy of passion
Sanity is overrated.
© Sabina Nore
Randomness
There is beauty to be found in randomness.
A quote from one of my favorite childhood books:
“She made herself stronger by fighting with the wind.”
~ Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
“Two Rocks And A Cup Of Water” by Massive Attack
“When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.”
~ Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast
Drawings I-X
What started off as surreal automatism, has developed into a series of drawings that survived the trash bin test.
(I know, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t throw away any of my drawings, but I don’t see the point in keeping anything I consider a doodle.)
I think of these as a connected series of drawings, a sort of journey.
The Wonderful World Wide Web
There are side-effects to everything. The good and the bad are, in most cases, tightly interwoven.
Do you know what’s one of the side effects of being an artist?
Caricature of me by David Boudreau
Knowing other artists.
I know it’s not really a biggie. Artists know other artists (duh!), nothing out of the ordinary there. Whatever branch you choose to dwell in (or dwell on?), chances are you will not only have colleagues but also some friends in the same line of work.
And the side effects of the world wide web? This incredible interconnectedness, utterly oblivious to physical distance.
These two side-effects, combined, have brought forth some beautiful things in my case! Creative little treats from incredibly talented people… I already have a page dedicated to various caricatures of me, drawn or painted by artists from all over the world, but I would like to additionally also introduce at least some of them in more depth and I plan to do that here, in my blog.
Freedom Manifesto
This is a public declaration of my opinions, intentions and motives regarding personal freedom. Personal freedom, do you remember what that is? One of the most precious things a person can possess. Sometimes we take having it for granted, so much so that we don’t even notice that we are giving it away, one little piece at a time, one little compromise at a time.
Freedom Manifesto
I want you to imagine someone saying the following to you:
“I would like to spend time with you, but please go outside if you want to make a joke,
because I don’t like your jokes. But I really like the rest of you!”
The question is, would you go outside?
Impatience
“House of Stairs” (1951) by M. C. Escher
I’m going to tell you a story about patience or the lack thereof, otherwise known as “impatience”. You see, occasionally I’ve been accused of being an impatient person. A few times I came dangerously close to believing it myself. Like the New Year’s Eve, when I was 12 years old, and got a fever because I wasn’t allowed to open my gifts until midnight. Yes, I was curious and wanted to open them and no, I didn’t want to wait. As a result of my “desires” in that moment, I didn’t explode and act out, I imploded and got a fever…. but that was that evening and it doesn’t actually tell you so much about me.
(Now let’s fast-forward a little bit…)
Yesterday I was at the underground junction and at the entrance there is a sort of clock which showed that my train was coming in two minutes. Surrounded with crowds of people, around me and ahead of me, I started climbing the stairs and naturally began to skip them, as I usually do. There were several flights of stairs and the longer I walked the faster I got. At one point I realized that all the people were behind me. All I could see ahead of me at that point were stairs. However, neither my speed nor the style of my walking were affected by this. I continued to skip the stairs at an almost running speed until I reached the station. As expected, there was plenty of time left until my train would arrive, but that was ok. The amount of time was the same either way, and I was totally fine with waiting at the station, but I do prefer a free view ahead of me. So it’s really just a matter of personal preference and has nothing at all to do with patience.
You see that, right?
More importantly, do you see the main difference between these two instances?
And no, I don’t mean the age.
Thunder
I am back. With a thunder.
If this was a game, I would say “game completed”. There may be some secret levels left to discover, you know… for that additional kick or additional insight…. but I have done what I originally set out to do.
No idea why I’m using a game metaphor.
Maybe I should figure that out too. (Haha)
I am bursting with energy and inspiration.
This also means that it’s time for the Vajra to take its place. I have designed my own tattoo based on the Buddhist symbol, and this is what it looks like:
In case you are wondering…
Vajra is a Sanskrit word meaning both thunderbolt and diamond. In Chinese it is called jīngāng; In Tibetan dorje; In Japanese kongo…
Additionally it is a symbolic ritual object that symbolizes both the proprieties of a diamond (indestructibility) and a thunderbolt (irresistible force). The vajra is used symbolically by the Dharma traditions of Buddhism, Jainism and Hinduism, often to represent firmness of spirit and spiritual power.
(Source: Wikipedia)
Devouring paintings
(1-4-6-3-3-2)
My paintings devour my dilemmas.
A soft palette transforms
into passionate fiery tones
which sometimes mutate
into dark and smoldering scars.
Harmony can deceive the eye,
offering a sense of order,
while the chaos lays beneath,
invisible to some, the hint of it remains
calling out to those who can hear it,
to those who will hear it.
Does it speak to you?
Does it seduce you?
Does it repel you?
It’s gnawing at me,
inciting me to solve it,
like a puzzle.
In the mean time,
I am tortured by its echo.
Flood
Vienna is having an early spring day. Yesterday’s rain has melted away all the snow and today we had a sunny 14°C. I worked on my two smaller paintings and made some progress on each, but then I was suddenly tired, which is (usually) not really like me. I gave in and laid down on the couch, promptly followed by my cat Sage who positioned herself next to my belly and then just sat there like a guardian sculpture. She left and my son Christopher walked in, pointed at the book in his hands and asked if I could listen. Jocelyn Pook’s incredible CD was playing on the stereo and I was actually enjoying the ethereal music, but I said “Sure”.
He sat down next to me, opened the book, and started reading a selection of jokes he considered funny.
Why am I telling you this?
Read the rest of this entry »
Ode to Joy
“Ode to Joy” is the (working) title of one of my paintings in progress.
It is based on a drawing I did beginning of December:
And here is the corresponding painting:
Read the rest of this entry »
Solitude
I am an ambivert person. That means that parts of me are extrovert, other parts introvert, all in all I’m in the middle, which is nice. It also means, at least in my case, that I can equally well relate to extrovert and introvert people.
“Who loses harmony opposes nature”
Tao Te Ching
The time has come for me to focus inward. Due to circumstances in my personal and professional life I am, for the time being, extremely comfortable with solitude. The lack of input, the lack of output, the lack of exchange. Just me, music and painting. Maybe I’ll do some writing too.
My creativity and productivity are both heightened and I am finding peace once again.
Various people cross my mind during these times of silence and I can see each with more clarity than before. I don’t have the need to do anything about any of them for now. Not yet.
Life is pretty beautiful, even at times like this. If I were to try and force my way now I wouldn’t accomplish anything. It is the time to gather energy, to plan, to look forward to certain things… and more than anything else, to create.
I will show you some of my recent works soon. I may even turn on the ability to comment on these posts. We’ll see.
The original Goal
I just remembered one of the original goals I had with my paintings.
A little over a year ago someone asked me why I paint. I could do so many things, they said, I could compose music, I could write, why choose painting?
I was listening to music at that moment and was deeply moved (as I am often when I listen to music), so I turned the volume down and said “Because I want to create paintings that will make someone feel the way I feel now, while listening to this music.”
It dawned on me today that I already succeeded with this goal. A goal I had forgotten about until just now, but it was still realized. I don’t know about others, but I do know that my painting Turn me to Stone had such an effect on at least a few people, and possibly others I don’t know of. So it can be done. I did it, and I will do so again.
Realizing this gave me a lovely boost…